Shallow Pal

I believe in the innate goodness of people. This is the reason why I had put up with you inspite of your rough attitude. I still believe though that however lunatic you are, there's still this nice, loyal and loving being inside of you; only it's evasive, confusing and comes out seldomly. I've made the biggest effort I could even if you've battered and bruised me up repeatedly. I hate that I still care for you despite all that have happened. My logic tells me to leave and never to come back. What could have been a sincere connection concluded down to disgust. You hurt me so much. You are too selfish to see. Too shallow to understand. I don't regret trying, only believing.

Excerpts from 'Tuesdays With Morrie'

Money

"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'"

"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship."

"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."

-p.125

Marriage

"Well, I feel sorry for your generation. In this culture, it's so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either they're too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced. The don't know what they are themselves - so how can they know who they're marrying?"

"It's sad, because a loved one is so important. You realize that, especially when you're in a time like I am, when you're not doing so well. Friends are great, but friends are not going to be here on a night when you're coughing and can't sleep and someone has to sit up all night with you, comfort you, try to be helpful."

"Things are not that simple. There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you cant talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike."

-p.148 - 149

Bipolar

Manic depressive. Been having mood swings that shift drastically from ecstaticly happy to overly low the past couple of weeks. Here's a part of what I've read..."In addition to affecting the sufferer's life, it also has the potential to devastate the lives of the caregivers and those in the immediate family circle". And so my *idiot lights* flash.

Strength, Courage, Wisdom

Too much time spent on nothing. Changing the unchageable. Temporary high. Twisted logic. Burnt budget. Energy wasted. Frustrations. Disapointments. Loved-ones neglected. True-love hurt. Fantasy. Confusion. Mistreatment. Lies. Rudeness. Crudeness. Disrespect. Anger. Possession. Betrayal. Shallow mind. Danger. Chest pain. Heart ache. Heart break. Disrespect. Curse. Violence. Cure. Reality. Help. Hope. Forgiveness. Forget. Focus. Live. Love. Faith. Strength. Courage. Wisdom.

Green Eyes

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes,
yeah the spotlight shines upon you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
honey you should know
that I could never go on without you

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

I wonder what good i have done to deserve this snoring angel beside me right now :)

Coming back home.

Bummer

It’s my birthday yet I’m thinking about you.
Greetings keep flowing but I’m still feeling blue.
It’s been two weeks now, since we’ve last spoken.
I’m doing just fine, though inside I’m broken.

It’s two in the morning, I should be sleeping.
But I’m wide awake here, my senses are fighting.
I wonder if you’re ok; how are you coping ?
Me, I’m torn apart, but I have stopped crying.

You see, I am learning. I’m being firm for us.
At least I am trying, since I can’t undo the past.
Such a weaker-link, I’ve always messed up.
Letting you go now will well close the gap.

I’d care for you constantly. No buts, no whys.
I can give no reason, but illogical replies.
You will always be special. Don't you forget that
If ever you need me I’ll be there no matter what.